Monday, February 22, 2010

To Ben on your 10th birthday

Dear Ben,

I have been awake for a while now, thinking about what I would say to you on your birthday this year. Already, the tears are flowing, for I miss you so much that it is still a physical pain in my heart. What makes it harder is that your Dad is away on a band tour. I don't have his hugs today.

I don't know if I ever told you about the day an angel saved you from harm. You were little, not quite 2. It was late summer, and school would be starting soon. I would be teaching music 2 days a week at the girls' school and I had been praying about who would care for you on those days. I had just found out about a family at our Church who lived nearby and wanted to help us. The mother had two little ones at home and offered to watch you on those days. I brought all of you outside to play while I called this woman. You wanted to color with the sidewalk chalk on the driveway and the girls were riding bikes around you. I dialed the number and heard it ring. I had barely said hello when I looked up and you were no longer sitting there. I asked to her to wait a minute. I stood up and looked to see where you had wandered. Not by the swingset, so I turned toward the front of the house. There was a white truck at the edge of the driveway and a woman was holding you in her arms and walking up the driveway, telling me that you were about to wander into the street. I was so overcome, I just grabbed you and held you tight, crying at the idea of what could have happened. Then I remembered that I didn't say thank you to this kind lady, so I turned back around. She and the truck were gone. Vanished.

You were truly a blessing from above and I cherish every moment we shared with you. I thank God for the time we were given and I know I will hold you again someday.



Karen said...

An angel in a white truck--there just so you would have more time with your beautiful boy. Praying comfort for you today. He is such a beautiful child and you are such a beautiful momma.

Faithemmanuel said...

You son is beautiful. My millennium baby passed away, as well. She was our first daughter and she died of SIDS when she was almost six months. I know it is so hard to go on. We have had four subsequent children (she was our first child) and the pain never leaves- I will pray for your daughter, Anna. I know I am a mess at every sickness, every time a child sleeps in, etc. My heart goes out to you. In Jesus and Mary,

Jenny said...


Thank you for your kind words. I will hold your family in prayer. I am sorry you have this same sorrow to bear.

Leila @ Little Catholic Bubble said...

I have a millenium baby too, and my heart breaks for you... Thank you, Ben, for making me remember to run and hug my Mark. I think you could have been friends, and one day in Heaven you will be.

Jenny, one day every tear will be wiped dry. God bless you and thank you for your beautiful tribute to Ben.