Wednesday, January 16, 2008

waiting it out


In February of 2006, we took a trip to Disneyworld. Ben wanted to do everything. The Tower of Terror was no exception. I can remember the enthusiam that exuded from him as we stood in line. He was still excited as we ascended up the "elevator shaft". But as the ride plummetted, so did his enthusiam. He turned to me and said in a small voice, "I'm scared! I really am." As his mom, I wanted to push a magic button and get us off the ride. But I knew the only thing I could do was to hold him tight until the ride stopped and the scariness was over.


That is how I feel right now. I want God to push the magic button and make this all go away. But all I can do is hold on tight to Him.


Later in the trip, he got a Mr. Incredible outfit complete with muscles (We celebrated his 6th birthday there). His infectous smile and uncontainable enthusiam returned. I knew that the scary feeling had gone for now and in his costume he felt he like he could conquer the world. And he has.


I am still waiting it out, holding on tight. I hope God hears my small voice, calling to Him, "I'm sad. I really am."

5 comments:

Mellanie C. said...

I know you've really been struggling lately, and my heart aches for you. I wish you peace, strength, and solace. I hope you are able to find comfort in your memories. It's so hard to trust God when we're suffering something that doesn't make any sense to us, but I know your faith will steady you on this very difficult path.

Much love,
Mellanie

Cate Bush said...

Jenny,
I just wanted to let you know I'm thinking about you. My arms are wrapped around you and I wish I could find that button for you too.

Love,
Catherine

Peyton's Mom said...

We're still (always) praying for you sweet girl....please --- seriously --- let us know if we can do anything for you - we're honored to be able to pray, but we're also here for whatever else you may need...

Love,
Deb & the girls

Just me-Jerri said...

Jenny-stumbled across your page today You have been on my mind and in my prayers so much lately....I almost stopped by one day just to check on you. I kick myself now as maybe I should have. Anything you need........please feel free to call.
I know the path to your door my friend. Jerri 876-0496

nancyloru said...

Dear Tony, Jenny, Sophie, Olivia, Anna and Jack,

We just wanted to let you know that we are thinking of you on this very special day. We miss you and we miss Ben. You are in our thoughts and prayers. We love you!

Nancy, John, Natalie, Dominic and Daniel